Thursday, August 30, 2012

...infinity

If you're reading this... you probably know me. You probably are a friend or acquaintance. And if you are either of those... you know that life dealt me a new set of cards. Well - it wasn't just I who was dealt this set of cards- it was my mom, my brothers, my family and my friends- of which are all family. The greatest man in my life is with us no longer. My amazing, wonderful daddy passed away in May. I have tried my hardest to put words on paper... but I have not been able to do it. Words seem futile... I can't seem to find anything to do my dad justice and I can't find the words to convey how I feel.
Sure - lately I feel better than I did a few months ago. I have found a strength from somewhere inside me. But there are moments when i breakdown...when my strong defenses fail me. Those days have been a little further between than they used to be. But just the same - the hurt and longing is still there and ever present.
I titled this blog infinity... I did that for a reason. You see- about 10 days after my dad passed I got a tattoo on my inner left wrist - its an infinity symbol with the word love in it- as part of the infinity symbol - the chain never breaks. It may have been done in haste- but I look at it every day- sometimes several times a day. And I still love it... its a part of me - just like my dad was and is - infinitely.
 
I hope in the coming weeks, days and months that the words are easier to find... 

1 comment:

  1. Just saw this for the first time ... and you did do your daddy justice! The infinite of his love, shown on your wrist tells all of us readers alot about you. I hope that you start writing more ... just write what's in your brain and on your heart. It will amaze you what comes out, if you let it!

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